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For example, if he gets angry about having to clean up when he feels like he's in the middle of something, offer to give him a five-minute warning the next time you need him to pick up his toys.

Or maybe he gets out of bed every night not because "it's a stupid bed," but because he's really afraid of the shadows moving across the wall.

Does it usually happen when he's tired or overstimulated?

Maybe he's involved in too many activities or needs a little quiet time after preschool to rest or calm down. Make sure your child understands what is – and isn't – okay to say.

"Be sure to offer acceptable choices, and respect the ones he makes.

Grandma doesn't need to be told, however innocently, that her pie is runny, and the bagger at the grocery store doesn't need a preschooler's advice to lose a little weight. Don't overreact to your child's mouthing off or get into a power struggle over his choice of words or his tone. The best way to teach your preschooler to speak respectfully is to do so yourself." Does this display of attitude mean you're in for years of sassing? "When a child talks back, what he's really expressing is anger, frustration, fear, or hurt," says Jane Nelsen, author of .Of course, it's hard not to respond angrily to such back talk.So if it's a family rule not to use the word "yuck" at the dinner table, make that clear.Or if you don't appreciate his huffy response to an earnest explanation remind him, "We don't talk that way.