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19 Oct

They promote literally impossible standards in myriad ways – both overt and subtle.

Beauty standards as we’re taught in western culture are European features and bodies and skin that can only be achieved via money, surgery and lots and LOTS of Photoshop.

And to be perfectly frank, if all a woman wants is to get off, vibrators are safer, easier and aren’t going to use the last of the milk in their coffee the morning after.

The problem with asking this question is that it assumes that women and men have the same goals when it comes to sex.

They have a tendency to fall for the old axiom that sex is like pizza; even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. While exceptions certainly exist, women on the whole don’t approach casual sex the way that men do; they’re not looking for how quickly they can find a pole for the hole, they’re looking for someone who excites them and can provide the sex they want.I have friends who aren’t conventionally attractive, aren’t especially rich and are certainly not powerful… Men have to be the aggressors, men are the ones who have to make the approach, call first, ask her out, pay for the date… Women are clearly either lazy, entitled or just get off on having men subjugate themselves.Let’s be honest: more often than not the men who complain most about this are the men who would prefer to be approaching women themselves, whether due to approach anxiety, a fear of rejection or even just not being sure whether or not she’s interested.The problem is that this falls under what’s known as the confirmation bias: the tendency to only believe evidence that validates an already existing belief. Before you start, let me forestall the inevitable “Great, so you don’t have to be hot, you just have to be powerful/rich/more talented than God”. They have passion in their life and know how to convey it. They can make women laugh, feel special without putting them on a pedestal and yet not come across as needy. Women are closer to true social equality than ever before: wages are growing closer to parity, women outnumber men in college attendance and are achieving leadership positions in corporations and government in ways that previous generations could only dream of.There is far more to attraction than looks – though they help – or being in the rarified 1% of money, talent or fame. And yet men have to do all the work when it comes to courtship.